Letting go of toxic relationships
14 Jan 2019
Are there people in your life that fill you up? And others that drag you down? This week Bec and Tara chat about toxic relationships and letting go of the ones that no longer add value to your life.
Clutter isn't just things- it's anything that's in your life that isn't adding value, or that is distracting you from what is truly important
Look at your current relationships objectively and ask yourself the following questions: Do you enjoy being in their presence? Is it positively affecting other areas of my life? Do you gain energy from them or feel drained after being with them? Do you feel safe and comfortable to be yourself in their presence? Do you feel you need to keep up a facade around them or are you your real self? Can you speak honestly and feel free of judgement? Are they supportive? Do they celebrate your successes and wallow by your side through misery? Do they truly want what is best for you- Free of agenda or jealousy?
Pull the people that bring you joy and fill you up closer to you and push the others further away. Make sure your return the joy and support to those that you get it from. No one likes one-way traffic in a friendship.
“You can't change the people around you but you can change the people around you.” Joshua Fields Millburn - The Minimalists
“Pack light. A good packer is a tough packer. So be shrewd and be robust. If it isn't going to help you, leave it behind, throw it out, stay light.” Bear Grylls. If people aren't light in their relationships with you, if they weigh you down emotionally, it’s like packing excess baggage on your journey and being weighed down physically. So pack well and pack light
When letting go of toxic relationships: If it is a difficult relationship to leave- seek help. A therapist/ counsellor to guide and support you through some steps. Relationships Australia is a great place to start. If you believe that leaving might put you or loved ones in harm’s way then seek help before acting - Lifeline Australia
Start from a place of acceptance, who you are and that where you are today is based on the choices you have made. If those choices are no longer serving you, then stop investing and take steps to let them go. Forgive yourself for that relationship- the time you spent and let go of any feelings of regret, resentment or anger.
Take time to learn the lesson- recognise what didn’t work so that you don't invest in the same type of person next time.
Create distance- start saying no. Start standing your ground. Don’t be disrespectful but start backing away.
Life is short so surround yourself with people that fill you up.